He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
