I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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