Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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