i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I have tasted many bathrooms
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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