I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
you had me at cake vodka
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize