whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I want to make a zoo with you.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize