John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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