I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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