I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
