Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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