how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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