Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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