six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
