I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize