Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Randomize
