apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
