Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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