You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
