clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
