dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
