wat bout pragnant strippers??
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
