Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
