Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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