its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
