My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize