We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
