it's like iHOP with fire
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
