it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
