I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
