I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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