please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
