Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My first STD was from a foam party
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
