4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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