There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
