I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
