I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
