I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
