shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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