Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize