guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
