No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
