You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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