Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
