I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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