have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
