so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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