That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Porn is love you can see.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
