at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
