Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
