Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
