Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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