Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
