there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
