I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
