I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
