shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
