i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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