somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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