My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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