do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
