his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize