and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
