Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
So much rum. So many feels.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
