Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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