Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
