he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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