She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
