Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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