Just mADE A PArabola og urine
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize