Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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