I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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