We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
