The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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