would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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