every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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