I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
