i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
this will be a night to untag.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
