What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Do vagina's smell?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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