glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
