Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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