a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
