why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
