talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
