"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
