Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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