She went from zero to smokin in five shots
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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